Jacob Black, I Am Not My Mother
by jupitersquared
Summary: Jacob gets overprotective of Nessie who insists she is not so breakable as he makes her seem. But will their arguments damage part of her that isn't stone cold like a vampires-her heart? T for now, might have to be upped later, depending


So I've bee haunting this whole site since before Eclipse was released, but didn't think I had any good ideas for a story until after I read Breaking dawn- what a shame right? Anyway, here it is my first piece. You must think it's at least ok, because you clicked to the 2nd chapter right? Leave me a review maybe? Constructive criticism is more than welcome.

And of course- I own copies of all the Twilight books, but I in no way shape or form own the words or characters written inside them.

I wish he would stop looking at me like that. Stupid over-protective werewolf. That's lot to say I didn't love him. No there was never anywhere I would rather be than wrapped in his long tan arms.

"But I guess that's half the problem" I thought to myself "I'm just like mom was when she was human- head over heels for a very powerful man."

Dad always jokingly complains about how stubborn my mom is, but from what I could tell the two things she never gave into his wishes on were being changed and not letting him rip me out of her body. Two things I am very, very greatful for. But even now, in all my 23 years of existence, I've hardly ever heard her say no to something that Edward, or Alice or for that matter anyone ever wanted. My mother- always putting someone else first. I admire my mother, but sometimes I crave a little independence. I thought my power of being irresistible should get me my way, but most of the time it had my family constantly fearing for my survival. Fearing for the survival of an immortal -not in the least bit ironic.

I felt his heat behind me before he was barely three steps into the room. Still sitting on the tall barstool at the kitchen counter facing away from him, I tried to arrange my thoughts into something more cheerful. Now was not the time to deal with this delima.

"Jake…" I breathed as I was caught in his warm embrace. His woodsy scent filled my mind as he gently rested his cheek on my head.

"Good morning" he whispered in my ear. Holding my shoulders, he swiveled the stool so I was facing him. "Nessie… You look tired. Are you sure you got enough sleep?"

"Jake, how many times have we been over this. Half human, half the regular amount of sleep. Maybe you're getting too much. I mean, being a teenage boy for twenty some years, you'd think that you would have ate and slept enough for a lifetime."

He laughed at my remark, nut then his eyes hardened, turning serious. He took my face in his wide hands. "We're going to be together much longer than a lifetime Renesmee."

I matched his motions, placing my palm on his cheek lightly and remembered my 7th birthday. By that time I understood who…what I was, and what my family was, but as much as I had loved Jake as a brother, I didn't know who he was in relation to me.

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I was curled in Jake's lap, head resting against his broad chest. I could feel the sculpt of his muscles through his shirt. I was exhausted from the days events.

"Alice sure knows how to throw a birthday party."

"We'll the only birthday worth celebrating anymore is yours Nessie, she's gotta let all her party buildup for the year out in one day."

He beamed down at me and I couldn't help but notice the shape of his jaw, the grand color of his eyes, the peak of his long nose, and of course my favorite wide silly grin. Suddenly, I knew I felt more for him then just the love of my favorite half uncle that I thought he was. Some in the human world would say that seven is far too young for love, but I knew then it was otherwise. I looked at least 16 and surrounded by vampires ten times your age, you tend to grow up pretty quickly mentally as well. I knew I was old enough for love, but I knew age had nothing to do with the wrongness of loving your uncle. Sure he wasn't related, but neither were Emmett and Jasper and I would throw up if I ever had a crush on them.

"Nessie… are you ok?" His brow was furrowed and I almost panicked then. What was I supposed to tell him! "You know… I love you."

"Did he just say what I thought he said?" I thought frantically "Of course he did, he says it all the time, and so does Mom, and Dad, and Alice… but this was different" I couldn't decide "I'm just thinking that way because that's what I want to hear."

I could feel the sting of tears welling up in my eyes and I struggled to stop myself from showing them to Jake.

"Nessie…" He held my hand. "You could just show me if it's too hard for you to say…" He slowly moved my fingers from my lap up towards his face, stopping before I actually touched him. I didn't resist, but stared blankly up at his eyes. His face shimmered and blurred from the wetness in my eyes. He was letting me choose. We sat there in silence for what seemed an eternity. I shifted my gaze from on of his eyes to the other, searching for an answer while I thought through my memories of all the times I had noticed how strong he was, how gentle, how kind, how… beautiful. I felt his hand start to release mine in defeat when there was a slam behind me and I jumped, practically slapping my Jacob with my hand. The sting in my palm was nothing compared to the horror in my mind as I felt him receive all the memories I had just mulled over moments earlier. I wrenched my hand from his face, jumped out of his arms and fled to my room.

I could hear my father's voice even though the space of two staircases, two hardwood floors, several solid oaks doors and my thick blue comforter that I was silently sobbing under.

"WHAT have you done to my daughter you Mongrel!?" Dad's voice echoed in the halls.

"Edward" My forbidden love's voice was much softer and I almost made myself ignore it, but his next words stopped my cries and perked my ears. "I can't keep pretending."

"you know that we are protecting her. She's young."

"I thought that you, a centarian that looks les than twenty would understand that things are not always what they seem. In her heart Nessie is much older than seven. You know that."

"But old enough to know the truth, to be bound and overwhelmed by that kind of love? Are you sure you aren't just fed up with waiting, dog? You will not corrupt my daughter. You will not ruin her childhood." I could imagine him baring his teeth, trying to keep himself from growling. Even in my confusion of the situation I felt anger at my father. "I'm old enough to make my own decisions I thought. Jacob has done nothing. This is all my fault! Don't Hurt him!".

"Edward, when you walked in, Nessie was touching me-"

My father let out a shattering growl- "She was WHAT! Dog if you ever-"

"NOT LIKE THAT! I mean she was using her power, accidentally I think. She touched my face. Nowhere else. She showed me things…" He faltered and I knew he was relaying my memories onto my dad. Horrified and hyperventilating, I rammed my eyes closed trying to block it all out. "She's starting to think of me like I think of her."

"STOP THINKING THEN! You TOLD me you wouldn't think of her like that!"

Like what?

"I said I wouldn't until she understood. I wouldn't do it so we could protect her. We aren't protecting her anymore, just hurting her, confusing her. She has a right to know what is destined to happen between us."

Know what? What's going to happen to me?

"Jacob. She's not ready." His voice still rumbled with warning.

What, will it hurt?

" You mean YOU aren't ready. You should have known this day was coming. You can't stop love. You tried that with Bella and we both know how that turned out."

That was a low blow and I knew it even with my very limited knowledge of the times that my mom almost never talked about. But what did it mean? Jacob can't love me like that. No he just knew all along that I would fall for him. But of course he couldn't love me back. "We're so different" My silent whisper was shaken by newfound sobs when I realized what was going to happen. He was leaving. My poor dad couldn't stop me from loving, but now Jacob was going to follow in my fathers footsteps and rip himself out of my life, was that it? I was thinking of him how he thought of me? Did that mean that Jake had some sort of sick pedophile crush on a member of his family? "What is going on!" I muffled my confused shout with my pillow, but I think they heard it down the stairs.

Dead silence filled the house. My ears were straining so hard I could hear a squirrel chattering outside in the blowing trees.

The hurt in his voice when Dad uttered a concessionary "fine" added more strain to my already bewildered emotions. Before I had time to think any more though, I heard the booming of Jacob's feet on the stairs. Judging from the speed of his footfalls I sat straight up and I braced myself to have him crash through my door. But the pounding halted and there came a light tap on my door.

After a moment, hearing no answer from me, wild and bleary eyed as I was, the door creaked open and he swiftly sidestepped inside. His tall lanky frame shut the door behind his back and leaned against it, shoulders hunched.

"Nessie I-" his gruff voice hesitated, searching for the words I was waiting for. I needed an explanation. What kind of secret was my father and best friend hiding from me? But I knew I had to explain myself.

"Jake I'm sorry. I'll get over it. It's just a crush. You've always been so nice to me, don't leave. I love you… but I promise just to love you like I love a brother" I babbled incoherently "or a dad, or an uncle, even how I love Carlise if you want. I can bury those feelings. I don't know what's happened. Please. It was a mistake. I-"

"Nessie that's enough" I froze, started at how calm and gentle he sounded. Not mad or hurt at all. I was still confused, but outwardly I felt my face relax and my shoulders fall and my fingers unknot from each other. He strode over to me and got on his knees in front of where I was sitting on the edge of the bed. He was so tall that our eyes were nearly even. "Nessie, if anyone's made a mistake, its me. There's something you have to know." He fingered my hands which were laying dumbly in my lap, then took one of them in his own. "We didn't tell you earlier because we wanted you to have a normal childhood. Edward… your father I mean, has a bit of an obsession with letting people stay as human as possible, to be as normal as possible." He said that part with a tone I didn't quite understand until I remembered my mom's stories of proms and weddings.

He took my face into his hands "Nessie, we belong together." Leaning in he kissed away a single tear that still clung to my warm cheek. I still didn't understand, but then and there I felt completely at peace.

I looked up at Jacob, smiling. We were in that exact same position- I was sitting with him in front of me, cupping my face in his hands.

"You still aren't mad are you? You haven't changed your mind on me?" He brought his face even closer to mine and looked me square in the eye.

"Jake, the instant I found out what was going on I was too relived, too happy to be mad! I don't think my happiness has worn off yet." I learned twords him and nipping at his earlobe growled "I don't think it ever will." He dropped his hands and laughed. I leaned back and giggled with him.

Suddenly serious Jacob layed a hand on my shoulder. "Promise me something?" I nodded, of course, anything. "Never- Never love me the same way you love Carlise." I stared, half horrified, half confounded, when his serious façade broke with a snort that grew into booming guffaws of laughter. I couldn't help but laugh too.

"Ha! Nessie you should have seen your face!"

"Jacob Black," I was doubled over with giggles "This is not funny!" I slipped from my chair. My vampire senses immediately kicked in and I braced myself, preparing to hit the hard tile floor. But I didn't hear the crack of breaking tile that I had expected to. Instead I was wrapped in strong warm arms. At first I was greatful, but then I remembered what I had been thinking about all morning. Jacob was trying to pepper me with kisses up and down my arms, but I sqwirmed insistently in his embrace.

"Put.. me… DOWN!" He turned me in his arms so I was looking more at him and gazed at me, confized. "please." He lowered me to my feet. I glared at him and brushed myself off.

"Wait… did you want me to drop you…? I just don't want you to get hurt."

I couldn't just keep it in then. Part of me knew it was complexly silly and this was totally the wrong time but most of me wanted to not be treated like glass anymore. "Jacob I wish you would quit it with the fucking harry potter hero complex. I am NOT your godamn damsel in distress. Ok!" I turned to walk out of the kitchen on him when he grabbed my wrist to turn me back to him.

"What's this all about Nessie?"

"I am not my mother. I have my own wants and needs. And I need you to give me a little respect. Truth is Jacob, I love you but sometimes you can be pretty overprotective"

"When have I ever-"

"You don't want me hunting alone, going into a city larger than forks was alone. When ever we go out you do all the talking, make all the plans. And heaven forbid I ever ride a motorcycle. Didn't you try to teach Mom when she was still human?"

"Your mother was different. Any minute I could get with her was precious… if there was ever anything I could do to get her to stay I…"

"And what am I? I'm just here, no chance I'll ever leave you huh?" I heard his breath catch in his ribs. His fear was nearly palpable. I regretted my words as soon as I had said them.

"Nessie, that's not what I meant…" I calmed slightly.

"Me neither Jake, I could never leave you, never." I still needed to make my point. "But I'm a fucking vampire Jake! A fucking bloodthirsty Vampire! I am not breakable. I can take care of myself."

"You're still half human though."

"And what are you Jacob Black? Superman?" I could have slapped him, but hardly would of felt it. So, as a punctuation to our argument, I broke his wrist to release my arm, turned and walked out of the kitchen. As soon as I was out of sight I started running up the stairs. That had not gone as I had planned.

I don't know do you think I'm rushing into things too quickly? Does it make sense for Jacob to be overprotective (he's kinda taken a leaf out of Edwards book it seems…)

Drop a review if you've got a chance.

Jupiter Squared


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